Application: The Relationship between Person and Job
Description: Married to the Job
Author: Mr. Edward Muzio
June 26, 2007
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“If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.” The often-paraphrased quotation by Tryon Edwards* reflects a truth many of us have experienced first hand: We may think we fully grasp a concept, but only when we try to teach it does our understanding truly blossom. For me, the expanded knowledge is usually accompanied by a chagrined realization of how little I knew beforehand.

This phenomenon took me by surprise again as we put the finishing touches on the manuscript of our upcoming book. My co-authors and I have been writing for months, verbally detailing tools that our readers can use to improve their work lives. I have been amazed at how much more I have learned through the writing, including a newfound fondness for the expression “married to your job.”

My discoveries, for the most part, were small and frequent. Attempting to verbally explain a specific model, I frequently would revisit a client’s challenges with it, and enter into an animated discussion with a co-author in search of solution. The result was almost always greater understanding. Some of our new ideas have already made their way into Group Harmonics course and coaching materials; many more now come out of my mouth during one-on-one or group discussion sessions.

But my favorite insights, it turns out, do not pertain to the models themselves. Instead, they involve our relationships with our jobs, and the way we approach them at the highest level.

The characteristics of person and job play a major role in that relationship. That’s why we measure them whenever we analyze a position, a group or an individual. Measurement allows us to define and create a situation with the highest possible likelihood of success. After all, a “bad relationship” can be costly and unpleasant! To avoid this, we provide data and recommendations. What the individuals involved actually do with that information is the difference between success and failure.

I knew that already. Yet if I had to summarize in one sentence the biggest realization I gained from working on our book, it would go like this: Liking your job is a conscious and constant decision. In other words, a positive relationship comes from a positive choice.

First, the decision must be a conscious one. That’s not to say that we should “choose” to enjoy a dangerous or damaging situation in the moment. But we can – and should – decide that having enjoyable work is important to us. It need not be the only priority, but we must place it on our list of essentials. And the commitment must be in the spirit of “making sure my work life is enjoyable,” rather than “wishing for something enjoyable to come along and replace this mess.”

Second, our decision must be a constant one. Our relationship with our job, like any other relationship, goes through ups and downs. Most every job has a honeymoon period, and most every job has bad days. Continued renewal of the commitment to make work enjoyable is essential – to stay the positive course during the good times, and to navigate back out of trouble when we reach the bad ones.

Any human relationship is fraught with difficult choices. Do we rely upon chance and luck to find a friend or a mate, or do we embark on an active search? Do we seek perfection at the start, or do we look for someone who seems suitable and then work to make the relationship great? And after we have found “someone” and things are going badly, do we abandon ship or redouble our efforts? How do we balance intuition with conscious planning?

The relationship with our job is similar. A satisfying career is part luck (‘finding the perfect job’), part selection (‘choosing wisely’), and part creation (‘making it work’). It is part intuition and part planning. How much should we rely upon luck? How hard should we search? Once we are in a “relationship” with our job, and things turn difficult, should we seek a better situation elsewhere or work on making improvements where we are?

What I rediscovered in the writing of our book is that our answers are often less important than how well we maintain the balance between the questions. If we avoid absolutes and instead stay focused on criteria like “satisfaction,” “productivity,” and “success,” we can keep asking the question “how do I make my work life enjoyable?” When we do, we find ourselves better at walking that balance beam, and happier in the process.

And I thought being married to your job was a bad thing.

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